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Do I Chase After Her Or Not? It's Probably A Stupid Place To Put This; I've Never Done This Before.?

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Do I Chase After Her Or Not? It's Probably A Stupid Place To Put This; I've Never Done This Before.?

Postby Chagiya » Fri Oct 13, 2017 3:02 pm

I've been seeing an older married woman for a while; I met her whilst I was working on the fair. Her husband brought her down. We became friends; close friends. We were so close in fact that she even confided in me and told me that she herself was in love with someone else; although at this time, even though I had a suspicion, I didn't know it was me.


We started to spend more personal time with each other; just me and her. This was time spent with me that she never ever had with her husband. She only married this guy because she became pregnant with her first child; her son is a year older than me. When she's at home, she's extremely self destructive. She does drink a lot and she does severely cut herself. This really kills me because I know that I cannot just simply turn up on her door and just take her away from the causes of self destruction; the cause being her husband. She's told me she really hates him with a passion.


Shortly after my 18th Birthday, we went out drinking and we were quite intimate. The relationship has carried on from there; along the way, being with her has made me grow up and seriously mature out. I was no longer the seedy b*s*a*d that I used to be when I worked regular on the fair. I've had the odd hiccup and looked away at some random girl but I've instantly known that it was wrong. She's been seriously upset about these incidents; it's upset me knowing that those unintentional actions have upset her; it's killed me inside from time to time.

Now to move on and explain my feelings for her; After she had confided in me about the love for someone else incident; as I previously mentioned, I had a suspicion that it might have been me. I dismissed it however because, at the time, I was only 17 and to be perfectly honest, I thought that thing only happened in the soaps. OH BOY! I had no idea at the time how wrong I was.


This woman to me, is the most beautiful woman you could ever set your eyes on; she's absolutely amazing. I would go to the top of the cliffs and scream her name because I am so proud to know that she is mine. Every time I'm in her presence, it's like the whole world around me just simply disappears and it's just me and her. My world, when I'm with her is totally complete. When I have to leave her, I really do not want to; Every time she drops me off at my bus stop, It breaks my heart to look at her through the rear bus window and she's getting further and further away from me & climbing back into her car and driving away. It hurts to think she's driving back to that house where she will, later that night, ultimately be self destructive again.

Now onto the main subject. We have had a phone conversation this morning and I asked her if she was free and I asked if we could spend some time with each other. She said that she couldn't and I accepted this; It hurts but sometimes I know that things just don't work out for the day and I have to accept them. Instead of sitting in my room all day which is what I usually do, I decided to go to the fair and spend some time with a friend of mine who owns a few rides; I decided to walk his waltzer for a little while. I thought it might ease the pain a little and help speed the day away so I could potentially see my beautiful lady the next day.


I told her this; My very words were, "I'm gonna have a little play on the waltzer for a few hours." Her reply was simply, "Okay." I then replied back and stated that I loved her.


2 hours and 7 minutes later I get another text from her and she said this; "Rob it's over I can't trust you to not see girls on the fair."

Now I know I've had my slip ups and unintentionally looked at girls in the past and I know in the far past before I was seeing her, I was extremely seedy; as I have also explained, being with her had matured me out. But I know that intentionally going behind her back is wrong and I would never ever dream of doing that; not after someone like her has invoked so many feelings toward me and has made me generate them back in such extreme amounts.


Now basically I need some advice; I've been in touch with her since this text and I have cried down the phone to her and tried to explain that I'm not one to do this to her; I'm not one to do it full stop. I never was. Even when I was seedy! I really need to know what I should do to win her back; I really want her back and it is physically killing me inside to know that I'm going to potentially lose her. I don't want that to happen. Not ever! I've promised and always promised that I would make her my number one priority and that I would love her and stay with her no matter what; I'd always be by her side.


I've always made made it a number 1 rule; Never to make a promise that you know you cannot keep.

I need your help please? Thank you so much!
Chagiya
 
Posts: 17
Joined: Fri Mar 28, 2014 6:36 pm

Do I Chase After Her Or Not? It's Probably A Stupid Place To Put This; I've Never Done This Before.?

Postby Milman » Sun Oct 15, 2017 3:03 am

Guess there are two options here, one is that you telling her your feelings has frightened her off, maybe she did not think it would end up like this, and didn't want a serious relationship , so ending this way, she can remove the guilt for ending it from herself.

However, the other option is that she is testing you, what did she say when you spoke to her on the phone after? Think your statement about doing stuff in the past is fair enough, though you should give her a bit of space, but carry on asking to spend time with her.
Milman
 
Posts: 18
Joined: Mon Mar 10, 2014 2:38 pm

Do I Chase After Her Or Not? It's Probably A Stupid Place To Put This; I've Never Done This Before.?

Postby Meino » Thu Oct 19, 2017 2:47 am

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Meino
 
Posts: 19
Joined: Mon Jan 06, 2014 8:48 pm


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