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Are We Just Too Different?? Help?

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Are We Just Too Different?? Help?

Postby Lindael » Thu Oct 05, 2017 5:53 pm

So me and my GF have been together for about 2 years now, living together for the past year. We?re both 27. My issue with my GF is her major lack of ambition. I come from a family full of ambition and it?s just my way of life. Unfortunately for her she came from an unstable childhood with parents who did not always have their children?s best interest at heart and didn?t show good values. My GF is always, ALWAYS looking for the easy route to everything. She wants and complains about this and this and that but doesn?t want to put in the work to get it. Of course when she complains I tell her this in a nice way but she just gets mad and says I?m not sympathetic. It hard for me b/c my brain honestly just cannot relate to her approach. I don?t mean to seem cold to her I?m just giving me honest opinion and approach.

I just sometimes think how nice it would be to have someone with matching ambition to constantly support and drive one another and have enjoyment in our similar outlook. Now my GF treats me great, she loves the heck out of me and takes care of me, I will not say otherwise! So am I wrong to wish she was more like me? Does that just sound wrong to even say, honestly?
Lindael
 
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Are We Just Too Different?? Help?

Postby Royse » Fri Oct 06, 2017 7:02 pm

She will not change after marriage anymore than you could change to meet her standards. Either you accept her completely as she is, or you find someone else.


Only you know if you could accept her completely as she is. From you posting this question, I don't think you can accept her as she is.
Royse
 
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Are We Just Too Different?? Help?

Postby Culbert » Sat Oct 07, 2017 4:02 am

It's all about balancing each other out. I think it could work. Everyone has there strengths and weaknesses. You know hers and your own.

Maybe trying to change someone is not a good idea and would result in a failed relationship. Obviously you can't stand the way she is. So maybe it won't work out. It's really about if you can handle that and be happy all in one. Good luck
Culbert
 
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Are We Just Too Different?? Help?

Postby Caddaham » Sat Oct 07, 2017 10:23 am

Bad match for a long term relationship. You are poorly matched. You will never be happy with her lack of ambition. Most likely the relationship will not succeed.
Caddaham
 
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Are We Just Too Different?? Help?

Postby Stowe » Sun Oct 08, 2017 9:41 am

To expect anything OTHER than difference is well......ignorant.

How would you feel if you were dating a woman who was the same as you?

What on EARTH do you think you'd be able to offer a person who was the same as you?

Do you think you'd be able to offer valuable insight and advice, be able to guide a woman who did everything same as you?

Your strengths are her weaknesses.

Her strengths are your weaknesses.

I daresay she probably has a BETTER UNDERSTANDING of the world than you do.

When you lack, she has gain. Where she lacks, you have gain.

STRIVING TOGETHER and BUILDING one another UP! is the purpose of a companionship. How can you build if the building is the same model? What extra to add? What little to minus? you are the same.

CELEBRATE your differences and be GLAD you don't have to butt heads on everything.

You know the term 'fits like a glove'??
Stowe
 
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Are We Just Too Different?? Help?

Postby Gwernaeh » Sun Oct 08, 2017 6:14 pm

I don't think this will work between you two. Either you keep accomplishing your goals and bettering yourself or she's going to hold you down. If you do succeed, then it will cause resentment and you will naturally feel superior which will only strain your relationship further.


If she's dealt with crappy parents, I'm assuming they were verbally abusive so she probably feels like a failure, she needs to get help for herself.
Gwernaeh
 
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